id be glad to
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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