the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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