The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize