Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
