god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
