Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
