Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
