I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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