so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
