remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Holy shit dude........stairs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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