There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
