I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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