I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
