Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
