i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I deserve this hangover.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
