I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize