party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize