btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
