look no pants
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize