The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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