'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We are two peas in an std pod
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
