I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
