every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
