Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
