I think my fart just growled at me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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