there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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