My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
