hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize