My underwear smells like fireworks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize