Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
