I wish I only lived at night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
