i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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