brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
