you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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