Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
