I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
