They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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