he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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