I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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