The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
