dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
