I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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