I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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