i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize