You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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