it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
