Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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