dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
