I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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