Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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