I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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