I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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