Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
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There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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