She announced her abortion via fbk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
