I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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