ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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