remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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