Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
