it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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